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Funny Quotes About Diet and Weightloss

Sticking to a strict regime of diet and weightloss can be a real struggle for all of us. A sneaky chocolate bar here or there won’t harm, will it? Until the guilt trip sets in straight away afterwards. But don’t sit there and feel down about your failures, check out these funny quotes about diet and weightloss and take comfort that you aren’t the only one that has failed today..

1. “Everytime you eat bread, Ryan is sad..” – And you don’t want to make him sad, do you??

Funny Quotes About Diet and Weightloss

2. “Dear Diet, things just aren’t going to work out between us. It’s not me, it’s you. You are tasteless, boring and I can’t stop cheating on you..” – Amen, Brother..

Funny Quotes About Diet and Weightloss

3. “I just want to lose weight while staying in bed, watching TV, and eating girl scout cookies. Is that really too much to ask?” – No, not at all. We can’t see why they haven’t invited a fat burning coach and snack foods to assist you with this..

Funny Quotes About Diet and Weightloss

4. “I borrowed some of your Weight Watchers points this weekend..” I ran out of weight watchers points a long, long time ago..

Funny Quotes About Diet and Weightloss

5. “Calories don’t count on the weekend..” – A mantra I live my life by..

Funny Quotes About Diet and Weightloss

6. “What do boys even find attractive about boobs? They are literally a ball of fat on a girls chest. Like if you can love me for the fat on my chest why can’t you love me for the fat on my stomach, you piece of shit!” – Said every girl, ever..

Funny Quotes About Diet and Weightloss

7. “I’ve been dieting ALL morning. AM I SKINNY YET??” – No. And you won’t be for a long time, unfortunately. Dieting sucks, deal with it..

Funny Quotes About Diet and Weightloss

8. “It’s called DIET, because all the other 4-letter words were taken..” – What a nasty, nasty word..

Funny Quotes About Diet and Weightloss

9. “I’m on that new diet where you eat everything and pray for a miracle..” – Have also tried this one for years. Doesn’t work..

Funny Quotes About Diet and Weightloss

10. “Didn’t go to the gym today, but.. The cashier’s name at Mcdonalds was Jim. So, same thing..” – We agree, well played..

Funny Quotes About Diet and Weightloss

11. “I keep losing weight, but it keeps finding me..” – Yeah, you can’t get away from that bastard..

Funny Quotes About Diet and Weightloss

12.”A diet is just code for a time when you eat food you dislike and still feel hungry..” – Yep, true that. Diets are the devils work..

Funny Quotes About Diet and Weightloss

13. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it..” – Also one of our favorite diets, very good at this one..

Funny Quotes About Diet and Weightloss

14. “My diet plan: Make all of my friends cupcakes; the fatter they get, the thinner I look..” – Genius, great idea. Until you eat the lot yourself..

Funny Quotes About Diet and Weightloss

15. “Running away doesn’t help you with your problems, unless you’re fat. Then yeah, run..” – Slightly harsh, but I guess true..

Funny Quotes About Diet and Weightloss

16. “I’m on the Gin and Tonic diet.. So far I have lost 2 days..” – We have lost 4 weeks, 3 days, 6 hours and counting.. 

Funny Quotes About Diet and Weightloss

17. “Eat whatever you want, and if someone tries to lecture you about your weight.. EAT THEM TOO..” – We like this advice. Works a lot better than living on lettuce and cabbage..

Funny Quotes About Diet and Weightloss

18. “I’m on a 30-day diet. So far, I’ve lost 15 days..” – Yep, better to lose days than lose pounds in our experience..

Funny Quotes About Diet and Weightloss

19. “Don’t step on it.. it makes you cry..” – Horrible, devil machines..

Funny Quotes About Diet and Weightloss

20. “Inside me is a thin woman trying to get out.. I usually shut the bitch up with chocolate..” – Good plan Batman..

Funny Quotes About Diet and Weightloss

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